The Epic Journal Of Sai the stalker
by full.of.awesome.ness
Summary: Sai is a stalker who makes observations about his classmates, then writes about it in his little diary. AU. Based on true events. Intended One-shot.


**Based on a true story ;D  
... Except for the unnecessary yaoi touching in this xDD **

**AU. School style.**

**Implied humour.. does it work for you?  
And yes, Sai does write his thoughts even though he said he wouldn't.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Why would I be writing fan fiction if I owned it?!**

Journal of a Creepy Non-(Stalker.)

Dear Journal,

It has been about three weeks since I have started high school. Every day gets a little more interesting. I shall not write my thoughts and feelings down in this book, just let it be more of a recount of what happens.

I often **observe** my class mates, since they are quite amusing to watch. Honestly, their quirkiness seems to increase each day.

For example, every time I step onto the bus, the seats are all taken so I have to stand up in the isle, along with Haruno Sakura, Yamanaka Ino, Hyuuga Hinata, Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke and Rock Lee. _I know many people and their names, but I can't say that they can do the same to me._

Every day, it is the same people standing up on the bus with me, most likely because the senior classes are dismissed from last period a few minutes early, and the freshman classes are let out last.

I **always** seem to end up near the front of the bus, next to the three transfer students from Suna Highschool.

The red-haired male with hardly any trace of eyebrows usually sits on my left, all alone. He spends most of the bus trip either glaring at the window beside him or staring blankly at his satchel, _which is oddly shaped like a peanut. _

The other two transfer students sit to my right, to boy who had purple birth marks around the features of his face always occupies the chair next to the window. He never looks out of it, and is always seen moving his fingers around like he's controlling a puppet.

The girl who sits beside him had blonde hair tied into four bunches, _which seems to remind me of pineapple leaves_. The first time I saw her I almost burst out laughing and every time she sways her head around now, I still have to hold back my explosive hilarity. She is usually seen sneaking looks at Ino or Nara Shikamaru, or is playing with a large purple fan.

Ino is a short blonde girl with piercing blue eyes and quite a predictable attitude, and she always stands behind me, her back regularly touching mine, _which I find very irritating_. She giggles most of time that happens and her girly titters are really loud and annoying. She would sometimes turn around and apologise, (though I could see no real honesty from the look in her eyes) and I forgive her with a smile.

Hinata stood in front of Ino, and in front of Hinata was Sakura. Behind Sakura was Naruto and Sasuke, and Lee was at the end of the line of people which of whom I was familiar with.

_Every bus trip in the after noon, we always ended up in this order along the isle_.

Let me show you an after noon's craziness.

For example, last Friday.

The bus halted abruptly at the first stop, and I heard shrieks behind me. Ino's back was leaning onto mine, and her hand had tightened into a ball on the side of my shirt.

It seemed that I was something she should hold on to impede her fall.

"Naruto, get off me!" screamed Sakura, struggling to heave Naruto's body off her own. He hadn't been holding onto anything, and so ended up hugging Sakura when the bus stopped. A strong odour of sweat and lynx wafted my way, and I turned to see Naruto's moist sleeved underarms, of which he was trying to spray deodorant on. In response to Sakura's furious ranting, he tried pushing his body off Sakura while shoving her backwards. She crashed into Hinata, Hinata collided into Ino, and Ino rammed into my back.

_I held back my exasperation as best I could by watching Sasuke_. He stood perfectly still, hand hanging loosely from the pole he was holding onto. He looked absolutely calm and collected until the bus halted for a bit again and Lee head-butted him, to which his mouth screwed into a grimace.

"Teme, stop touching my ass!" Naruto glowered at Sasuke, a look of disgust on his face.

Sasuke glared back on full throttle. "What the hell are you talking about, dobe." snarled Sasuke, pointing to Lee whose hands were feeling around for a handle to hold on.

Naruto silenced immediately, his mouth puckered into a massive frown_. I assume he was more disgusted now than he was before._

When Ino _finally _removed her death-hold on my shirt, I breathed in air of relief.

"Hey. Don't you bitches fall on me! Or else I'm gonna kill you!" Ino poked her tongue out, to which Sakura replied, "Don't lean on me then, Pig! I'll do more than kill you!" Hinata just laughed quietly, which seemed like the only thing to do in that circumstance when two feisty girls are on either side of you and are screaming at full capacity.

The bus stopped at a station. The vehicle lurched forward dangerously, and then thumped backwards.

There were screams and yell once more, an annoyingly high and loud shriek coming from Ino.

Once I finished rubbing my ears in pain, I turned to see Hinata's body looking like she fainted onto Ino. Ino began shaking Hinata hysterically by the shoulders.

"Aiiiiyaaa. Don't fall onto me like thaaaat, Hinata!"

Hinata could only let out squeals and cries for Ino to stop. When Ino did stop, she glanced at poor Hinata's dazed face and enveloped her into a suffocating, but loving hug.

"I'm soooo sorrrry, Hinataaaa! I love youuu sooo muuuuuch!"

_This seemed to be her way of asking for forgiveness, but it didn't really make the situation better._ Sakura nudged Ino into ending her suffocation process, and turned to Naruto with her fractious face on. "Why did you push me into Hinata, Naruto?!"

"I didn't, Sakura-chaaan! I sweeaaar!" He waved his hands in front of him as defence.

"There's no way Sasuke-kun would have pushed us, Naruto." Sakura sent Naruto a glare.

"It wasn't me." Sasuke didn't look at them, but at Lee, who was suspiciously looking away from their questioning gaze.

Then there was the deathly, murderous growl of "…. Fuzzy… Brows….!" Followed by Lee's anguished screams, Naruto's killing suggestions and Sasuke's smirk.

_I know that it couldn't be Rock Lee though. I saw him playing on a lime-green Nintendo DS Lite the whole time. He was only looking away in fear of commotion about his game._

**Sasuke Uchiha is one evil man. **

When the bus stopped for the fourth time, Sasuke zapped his go-card and waved his hand backwards while walking casually out the door.

Many screams came from his fan girls bidding him good-bye and shouts were heard from Naruto and Sakura.

"Kyaaah."

"Sasuke-kuuuun!"

"Byeee, Sasukeeee-kuuun!" (Ino)

"You're so hot!"

"Sasuke-kun, don't forget we have Science homework due tomorrow!" (Sakura)

"Laters, Teme!" (Naruto)

People waved their hands and stuck their heads outside the windows, screaming their admiration.

Sasuke didn't notice any of them.

I got off at the next stop, but no one greeted me off. No one bothered to notice my absence.

Only a scary girl with rosy red hair and glasses smiled at me while I stepped off the bus. As I watched the motor vehicle drive noisily down the street, I couldn't help thinking that Uchiha Sasuke is a peculiar guy.

I shall leave this entry at that statement.

Good-bye for now, Journal.


End file.
